Why Do I Suck?

How can a person try so hard to live for and like Jesus, but look and feel so little like him so often? I don't know what it is about me that causes me to be so selfish and self-centered. People have helped me out more times than I can count, but I almost always dread helping other people out.

I've got this friend who asked me for a favor that would require a decent amount of my time. He is totally in need so I said yes, but the whole time I'm just thinking about how I wish I would have made up an excuse and said no. I've known non-Christian people with way more generous and giving spirits than I'll probably ever have. It's like Jesus makes some people shine, but he just makes me a half-way decent human being. Without him, I'd be a complete butthole.