Top 10 Ways the Amish Like to Party Like It's 1699

10. Wet bonnet contest.
9. Chug maple syrup until you blow chunks.
8. Cram as many dudes as you can find into a buggy.
7. Buttermilk kegger.
6. Burn past the square dance on a seriously rad Clydesdale.
5. Sleep until 6 a.m.
4. Churn butter in the nude.
3. Consort with the witches off of the cover of a discarded "Which Witch?" game.
2. Squeeze cats to make the "wicky-wicky" sound like rap DJs.
1. Burn Thomas Edison in effigy.

(from the May/June 1999 issue of The Door magazine)